Ben - Push Me Pull Me

Ben – Push me Pull me

He draws you in with his liquid amber eyes. Like the lone wolf he claims to be, you can’t help but be enticed by his charm, wit, charisma, intelligence, and daunting intensity. But like the wolf, you long to touch, to tame, he will bite if you get too close.

Mixing metaphors in the post, Ben is the Push me Pull me llama from Dr. Doolittle. The two headed llama that leads you in two different directions. Unfortunately, he has been burned so many times by family, lovers, friends, his trust is obsolete. He places unrealistic guidelines on his friendship, and in knowing this, he knows he is destined for a life of loneliness. Thus he brandishes the lone wolf tattoo; a representation of who he is.

But what an amazing anomie! It was a pleasure getting to know this incredible human. Having a home schooling education, he is far smarter than your average Florida high school graduate. All through his adolescence and early adulthood, he had a professional hobby that fined toned his body, which I promised not to divulge. The discipline of this sport along with his time in the Navy also set the tone for some of his rigorous beliefs. He holds high standards for himself and those who associate with him. Not a bad quality, but unfortunately, he has been forever disappointed. In his disappointment, he blames himself, forever martyring himself.

His association with social media has been within this group and others like bikers groups and therapy groups. In many ways, social media is his only social outlet. He confesses he does not like people. He feels socially awkward, dorky, and in the admittance makes himself even more endearing because who of this group doesn’t feel the same?

He searches for comic relief within the group, anything to distract him from the self-chosen loneliness. But behind his posts and his likes and comments, there is hidden truths; one has to know Ben to know what he is speaking of. A challenge for most of us because he is so secretive. Everything with him is a hidden message to be decoded. He will smile and shake his head when he doesn’t want to answer a question directly. This interview was like pulling teeth. Again he will pull you down one path only to push you towards another.  

Like many of us, Ben doesn’t realize all he has to offer. He suffers from low self esteem and self loathing. The lone wolf in many ways is a beaten dog waiting to attack. I would say like any beaten dog, he needs love and attention, but he wouldn’t know what to do with it. Which is so sad, because he truly is a beautiful creature.

Emmie - Dolly

Emmie – Dolly from Island of Misfit Toys

Don’t let those incredible baby blues and award winning smile fool you. Behind them is a lost soul. Much like Dolly, the emotionally damaged doll from Rudolf, Emmie has issues of abandonment, insecurity and feelings of self-doubt.   A  27yr old vet tech she came to Florida in search of her birth mother whom she had found through social media. She is trying to build a relationship with her while figuring out who she is at the same time.  What she fails to see is the incredible, imaginative and caring human that she already is.

Jay, her boyfriend, sees this. He calls her his angel, his rescuer. She encouraged him to try again after so many failed relationships and drug mishaps. Through her, he has found hope, reason and comfort; all the things a wanted doll brings. She brings this to everyone she meets. She is very insightful on everyone around her except for herself, a trait many people carry. She is a true friend and confident and wants to be loved and accepted, sometimes to her own demise. She can be too trusting, too willing to accept, a characteristic that has gotten her burnt in the past.

It is these failed relationships that have put her where she is though. And while she may be Jay’s angel, he is her rock. Finally, a source of emotional stability, so long for sought. He sees in her all she has to offer, which is her creative imagination and kind soul.

Ask Emmie about her apocalypse theories…she has three. When at first you start listening, one might think she’s a little crazy, but as she divulges all her ideas, one can see how deeply she has thought about these, how intense and immense her mind is. She is so creative, focused and driven when it comes to things she is passionate about; probably why Jay loves her. And we have Social Media to thank for their relationship too. They met through a Pit Bull page. Commonalities bringing strangers together is what social media has become a tool for; much like our Twisted Group.

Emmie is not the only one a little socially damaged. Having been in the group for 3 months, I think this is something we all can relate too; one of our many commonalities. We are twisted and bound by our societal dysfunctions, our abnormalities, our ink work, our drug or alcohol pasts, our sexual perversions, and most of all our bizarre sense of humor….. We all are misfits; which is why we are twisted together like knotwork.

Florida Twisted - Jay Roc

Florida – The Island of Misfit Toys

Anybody remember that Rudolph Christmas special, where Rudolph lands on an island of Misfit toys; unwanted toys awaiting a home. For some reason meeting my Twisted family reminded me of those Misfit toys. The Polka Dot elephant, the dolly for Sue, the Charlie in the box, a train with square wheels, a cowboy who rides and ostrich all ruled by King Moonracer, a winged lion; all of these toys were uniquely intrinsic but somehow because of their oddities, society had deemed them unworthy. That is how I felt meeting some of my Florida family.

Jay Roc (age 32)

Jay is the cowboy who rides an ostrich. He lives by his own set of rules, is a daredevil, and is figuring out his place in life. Coming from a shady past of drugs and prison, Jay seeks solitude in the arms of his girlfriend Emmie. His potential for greatness is evident in the way he carries himself, his history of being a Golden Gloves boxer and him at one point owning a construction company in New York and West Virginia. Unfortunately, Jay’s life took a turn for the worse when drugs landed him in prison. Since then he has sought a way to regain his once greatness.

Unfortunately, Jay’s past is never too far behind him. His baby mamma drama is Oscar winning. His need for drugs a constant weight he wrestles with.  Behind is smoke filled glassy eyes is a man in pain, searching for a way out of the darkness. 

The Twisted Group has been a path for Jay, a yellow brick road away from his past into a brighter future. He met his present girlfriend Emmie through the group, he hangs on a regular basis with other local members, and he uses the group’s use of dark humor to lighten his day. Through SM Jay has connected with people that he otherwise would not have been privy to meeting.  And through those connections, Jay has begun to set his life path straight. The Twisted Group allows Jay to post and comment on all the messed up shit that constantly happens in everyone’s lives.

Background

Taking Candy from Twisted Strangers

Social media is available anywhere there is an internet connection. It is what brings people together across cities, countries and continents. Through SM websites, people can stay connected with friends and loved ones through messages, photos, and most creatively the meme. A unique faction of SM such as Facebook and Twitter is people with common interests can join SM groups. Literally, strangers meet and form bonds around their commonalities. In one such group, The Twisted Group, people from all over have joined and been added to voice their outrageous, comic and twisted points of view from topics including sex, drugs, games and anything people want to get off their chests. 

I was added originally from my friend in Louisiana.  For 3 months I actively engaged with the Shenanigans online, but I wasn’t satisfied to stop there. These “twisted” people were becoming close friends and family to me. Which got me thinking. With over 300 members, and ages ranging from 18 to 60, I wanted to actually know and meet these people. What were the ties that bound us together? How close to reality were their posts? Who brought them into the group, was there a common denominator? What were their backgrounds and how similar to my own were they? How could a Social Media group website bring people together to form such bonds? And What exactly made them “twisted”?

Most group members centralized in three main areas: Florida, New York and Utah, with a smattering of members across other states. My mission was to meet as many group members and find the answers to my questions. Living in Georgia currently, but being from Tampa, Florida, I decided to start there. And the first leg of my journey led me to the Tampa-Clearwater area.